School Avoidance, also referred to as Anxiety-Based School Avoidance (ABSA) and historically known as School Refusal and School Phobia, is a complex issue that can significantly impact a child's academic, emotional, and social development.

On this site, for simplicity, we will use the term avoidance and we will use it in reference to both attending school and engagement with learning (there is little value being there if nothing is learnt!).

Avoidance can surface for a whole host of reasons, such as anxiety, depression, bullying, or academic pressures to name but a few.

Addressing avoidance requires a comprehensive understanding of its underlying causes and the application of effective strategies for overcoming and moving forward.

It also requires patience, trust and feelings of safety. Avoidance is best tackled when schools and families work together, it is in the best interests of both parties to do so.

Schools need the pupils in their seats and learning (to meet all those hoops graciously held out by the Government and Ofsted)and pupils need to be there to benefit from the education on offer so that they can make the most of their future opportunities.

Common sense suggests that working together is the best way forward, however, unfortunately as Voltaire tells us 'Common sense is not so common'. Part of our challenge is to shine a light on common sense and work to improve how schools and families relate.

Understanding avoidance

Experiential Avoidance: Experiential avoidance occurs when individuals avoid or escape uncomfortable or distressing situations, often leading to temporary relief but long-term negative consequences.

We do not like pain, suffering and discomfort so naturally, we avoid it. We all do it. Not all avoidance is bad, it is only when the avoidance gets in the way of life that we need to ACT.

Sometimes the avoidance strategy is so effective that we start to use it more often and in more situations. Suddenly, the avoidance gets bigger and it starts to spread into other areas of our lives. What was initially a useful strategy can start to drain the joy and meaning out of life. The more we avoid, the smaller our lives seem to get as we stop doing the things we used to enjoy and seeing the people we like to be with.

Pupils can start to avoid for a whole host of reasons, including tests, bullying, social interactions, performing in front of others and even certain teachers and subjects.

ACT teaches pupils to explore what they avoid and confront these discomforts gradually, building resilience and reducing the impact of the avoidance on their attendance and engagement.

ACT on experiential avoidance

ACT on getting stuck in your thoughts

Cognitive Fusion: Cognitive fusion refers to the times when we get caught up in our thoughts, It feels like we are stuck in a maze we can't get out of. We go around and around leading us deeper into inflexible and unhelpful behaviour (like avoiding).

For pupils, this could mean a negative thought pattern related to school attendance or engagement, such as "Why can't I do it? when everyone else can" or "I am going to fail anyway, so why bother going in?". These thoughts can be hard to control, and the harder we try, the more we fight them the bigger they seem to get and the more we start to believe them.

ACT helps pupils recognise these thoughts as just thoughts and not absolute truths. By learning to detach from unhelpful thoughts, pupils can make more helpful choices based on their values rather than being controlled by fear or negativity.

Away from avoidance and towards choice

ACT recognises that avoidance can be a natural response to uncomfortable and overwhelming feelings. But, it becomes problematic when it starts to get in the way of 'who we want to be' and 'what is important to us'.

Avoidance can start as a helpful strategy that gives a sense of much-needed relief. But because it is so good at providing that sense of relief, sometimes we start to use it more often and in more situations.

What started as a helpful strategy can take over as we avoid more and more difficult situations and we start missing out on the important things in life, like getting an education, seeing our friends and doing the things we want.

ACT focuses heavily on overcoming experiential avoidance. It does this by encouraging a willingness to just allow and make room for those difficult thoughts, feelings and emotions rather than spending so much time and energy struggling with them.

Accepting is not about giving in or giving up! It is about recognising that those thoughts and feelings that can get in the way are just thoughts and feelings. Rather than struggle, resist and try to 'get rid' of them, we might be better off just letting them be and turning our attention to doing the things that help move us in the direction of what really matters to us.

Research shows that avoidance can stem from a complex mix of factors including;

Anxiety and Fear: Avoidance is often linked to various anxiety disorders, such as separation anxiety, social anxiety, and generalised anxiety disorder (Egger & Angold, 2006)(1). Anxiety-related challenges are among the most common causes of avoidance. Those nagging worries, fears, thoughts and feelings that we just can't seem to shake and the harder we try to 'get rid' of them, the quicker they bounce back. It is exhausting, demoralising and painful. So avoiding what is uncomfortable to us seems natural and it seems to work (initially anyway!)

School Factors: Excessive academic pressure, worries about getting it wrong, fear of failing, performing in front of others etc. can all lead to feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to avoid the pain. High academic demands and perceived failure can lead to avoidance of school-related activities (Kearney, 2008). Lauchlan, (2003)(9) acknowledged that school-based factors can be significant contributors to avoidance. Pellegrini (2007)(10) suggests that schools are often too quick to assume the explanation for avoidance is a 'within child' issue.

Some causes of avoidance

Family Factors: Family dynamics (separation, loss, addictions, bereavement etc.), parental expectations, and family conflicts can impact a child's willingness to attend school and ability to fully engage (Heyne et al., 2007)(3).

Bullying: Not feeling safe is not a helpful 'state of mind' for attending, learning and engaging. Being subjected to bullying or harassment at school can create a hostile environment that makes children want to avoid it. Bullying and social isolation can contribute to heightened avoidance behaviours (Kearney & Albano, 2007)(7).

Medical Factors: Chronic health conditions such as migraines or gastrointestinal issues can lead to discomfort that makes attending and engaging with school challenging. Some of these issues might perhaps stem from the emotional impact of some of the causes already looked at above. (Can I hear Voltaire?)

Educational Consequences: Regular school attendance and full engagement in learning is crucial for progress. School avoidance can result in falling behind, an incomplete understanding of the subject and reduced educational attainment. Frequent avoidance is associated with lower academic achievement and poorer educational outcomes (Kearney, 2008)(5).

Social Isolation: Missing school can lead to a lack of social interaction, hindering the development of friendships and social skills. Avoidance can become an unhelpful habit, where life seems to get smaller as we avoid more and more situations. Prolonged school avoidance can result in reduced social interactions and difficulty in developing interpersonal skills (Kearney, 2016)(6).

Emotional Distress: Avoidance often correlates with increased anxiety, depression, feelings of inadequacy and a dwindling sense of self-worth. Avoidance can exacerbate anxiety and depression, leading to a cycle of emotional distress (King et al., 2020)(8).

Long-term Impact: Untreated avoidance can have lasting effects on educational and occupational achievements, as well as overall mental well-being. Inconsistent and often emotionally disruptive childhood experiences of the educational system can give rise to a host of possible social inequalities for the avoiding child. These may include future economic deprivation, possible relationship and occupational problems, emotional well-being issues and a heightened risk of social maladjustment (Kearney, 2001)(4).

Potential effects of avoidance